caliper wake

I can’t wait until I have a son so that I can text him: “I am sorry but life will never...

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 00:03:12 -0400

I can’t wait until I have a son so that I can text him: “I am sorry but life will never ever get better and you are always going to be tired and sad and you will eventually die. All of this is in inevitable. See you for dinner.”

Forth Avenue

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 19:15:03 -0400

I saw a drake get smashed by a Grand Am
as its female mate flew off.

I was horrified at the pain the lady bird must feel,
but then realized it was just a duck.

I then cried out in my head,
“Oh my god, you have no idea how sad you should feel.”

Over here is where I fell asleep for the first time. If you look closely you can see my insides...

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 02:43:45 -0400

Over here is where I fell asleep for the first time.

If you look closely you can see my insides spread out across the linoleum.

I THINK I DECIDED I WANT TO BE A WRITER. I WILL SIT ON THIS HARDWOOD FLOOR WITH A PEN AND A PIECE OF...

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 15:16:51 -0400

I THINK I DECIDED I WANT TO BE A WRITER. I WILL SIT ON THIS HARDWOOD FLOOR WITH A PEN AND A PIECE OF PAPER YOUR MOM GOT ME FOR CHRISTMAS. I WILL NOT BE HEMMINGWAY NOR MCCARTHY. I WILL NOT BE GOOD AT ALL. I WILL NOT BE GOOD BUT I PROMISE I WILL AT LEAST TRY AND WHEN I DIE THERE WILL MAYBE BE AT LEAST ONE PERSON WHO REMEMBERS ME AS SOMETHING OTHER THAN A GHOST.

I JUST REMEMBERED THAT WHEN I WAS TEN I MADE MY MOM CRY BECAUSE I WOULDN’T STOP POUTING AFTER...

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 21:25:23 -0400

I JUST REMEMBERED THAT WHEN I WAS TEN I MADE MY MOM CRY BECAUSE I WOULDN’T STOP POUTING AFTER WAL-MART SOLD OUT OF FURBYS AND I HATE MYSELF.

"Every Friday I want to think, “I can’t go on any longer. I’m fucked. Why am I so fucked. My life is..."

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 18:02:16 -0400

“Every Friday I want to think, “I can’t go on any longer. I’m fucked. Why am I so fucked. My life is fucked. Life is so fucked and sad,” and then drink a coconut juice and think, “I feel good. Life is okay.” That should happen every Friday night without any self-consciousness of it happening the previous Friday night. I want to have a melodramatic worldview, so as to not have any self-consciousness on those Friday nights that I’ll come to look forward to and eventually plan my life around. After eight years of this I want an angry coalition of beavers to break down my door at 4 a.m. and beat me to death with their clubbed tails while screaming, “I’m depressed! I’m depressed!” and crying large beaver tears. The beavers will eat my corpse.”

- Tao Lin, Exactly What I Want (via shabbydollhouse)

Please follow me on Twitter. @justdferguson

Mon, 04 Mar 2013 01:06:11 -0500

Please follow me on Twitter. @justdferguson

Metazen published a poem of mine today called “I consider...

Wed, 27 Feb 2013 16:09:00 -0500

Metazen published a poem of mine today called “I consider you following me on Twitter as a profession of faith and as an oath of love”

Photo

Fri, 10 Aug 2012 04:40:48 -0400

News

Fri, 10 Aug 2012 04:40:34 -0400

I am in the process of ‘revamping’ my website. I added a tab for my published work. Here’s to hoping it starts to grow.

I am also going to try and make my tumblr not as shitty. I feel it’s really shitty.

I am listening to Bloc Party. I feel like I am perpetually stuck in 2006.

I was rejected from Pangur Ban Party for the second time. I reread the story that got rejected and I feel that the rejection was warranted.

I am two pages into my e-book. It seems ok.

I wrote a piece about the Aurora and Milwaukee shootings and submitted it to Thought Catalog. It will get rejected by silence but that’s alright.

Ain’t nothin’ but a thang.

Also, New Wave Vomit opened submissions again. Awesome.

Wisconsin Sikh Shooting

Sun, 05 Aug 2012 15:41:13 -0400

How many mass shootings have to happen before Second Amendment supporters change their minds? We are human beings, modern people living in the most technologically advanced culture ever known to the world, and yet, we kill each other with weapons that are readily available and easy to obtain.

Gun supporters first claim is that “guns don’t kill people, people kill people.” Part of this is true, people do kill people, with their bare hands, with swords, poisons, grenades and dubstep music(ba-dum-chi), but guns are very much part of this modern culture of violence. Humans kill each other, and have been since the beginning of our species, so why would we make guns, whose sole purpose is to kill(you can’t tell me handguns are for hunting), so easy to obtain?

Life is hard, people lose it, the gunmen in Wisconsin lost it and shot up a bunch of brown people along with a police officer. When an angry person who wants to kill people can buy a box of bullets, a six pack of beer, and some Kleenex to clean his gun at Wal-Mart(always low prices), it’s time to look at ourselves and revaluate who we want to be as a society.

The cowards in Wisconsin didn’t use knives or baseball bats or swords or cannons to kill people, they used quick, efficient guns to take innocent lives. “BUT THE POLICE OFFICER USED A GUN TO STOP IT!!!” the autistic gun control lobby says. Sure! Absolutely he did, because he is a police officer, trained to protect innocent people from the slime of society who are allowed their “freedom” of carrying a weapon(even concealed, thanks Gov. Walker). It is different.

We need to change, to renounce our violent, primitive ways. We need to become human beings.

return to blogging

Fri, 03 Aug 2012 06:55:35 -0400

It is 5:42AM and I have just decided that I am returning to blogging. I am returning to writing. I have been trying to be a regular person who plays video games and goes to bars and is sociable and likeable and makes friends. This is not what I want to do with my life so I am coming back to the internet. Things make sense here; they are safe.

I am writing an e-book. The working title of it is “Diablo 3.” I’m not sure what will happen in it. I don’t know how to make a PDF.

Noah Cicero is in South Korea. I want him to come back to America so we will be on Facebook at the same time and I can ask him things.

I will be applying to grad schools in the fall. I don’t know how to do this. I have to ask my professors for letters of recommendation. I feel this will be awkward and horrible.

I am working on finding a voice for my Twitter account. I don’t know what works and what doesn’t. I feel like Twitter is an “uncharted frontier” in ways, but irrelevant and overdone in others. I think I might just tweet in all capital letters, things seem funnier that way.

MY CAT WON THE GOLD MEDAL IN CUTENESS

Fri, 03 Aug 2012 04:39:18 -0400

MY CAT WON THE GOLD MEDAL IN CUTENESS

Metazen published a poem by me titled “I Am Really...

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 14:13:09 -0400

Metazen published a poem by me titled “I Am Really Seriously Alone Here.”

I read from Tao Lin’s Twitter for 20 minutes starting on...

Thu, 24 May 2012 18:28:49 -0400

I read from Tao Lin’s Twitter for 20 minutes starting on May 19th.

First blogpost in awhile, courtesy of finals winding down and...

Mon, 14 May 2012 01:43:36 -0400

First blogpost in awhile, courtesy of finals winding down and finishing nearly all of X-Files on Netflix. Read the rest at Caliper Wake.

Phoebe likes melted icecream.

Thu, 03 May 2012 23:28:50 -0400

Phoebe likes melted icecream.

If you don’t reblog my cat, Mr. Plinko, she will commit...

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 20:01:38 -0400

If you don’t reblog my cat, Mr. Plinko, she will commit suicide.

popserial: First issue of Banango Street, the new lit journal...

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 14:13:27 -0400

popserial:

First issue of Banango Street, the new lit journal via Banango Lit, includes writing by Gabby Gabby, Jess Dutschmann, DJ Berndt, Russ Woods, James Duncan, Matthew Holmes, Walter Mackey, Mark Stevenson, and Sarah San.

I remember when I was 12 years old at a Magic: The Gathering tournament, one guy made fun of a fat...

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 14:33:20 -0400

I remember when I was 12 years old at a Magic: The Gathering tournament, one guy made fun of a fat kid for having a Nirvana patch ironed onto his sweatshirt. He said, “Look out for that guy, he likes Nirvana.”

I didn’t know who Nirvana was and laughed because I was 12 years old.